Get. It. In. Writing.
Like, seriously.
The public perception of contracts, especially when it seems there are two like minds at play, is that they imply distrust between parties. Therefore, they are often misused or underutilized.
So what can contracts actually mean?
How about:
Reduced stress
An opportunity to speak and be heard
An OPPORTUNITY to question your own motives and priorities
Preserved relationships
respect and commitment
Liberation and relief (guess the song reference and you have my deepest respect)
I owe a large portion of my personal and professional successes to contracts. Ok, so not all have been in writing, but the process has been similar.
Each party brings their needs to the table.
We look for areas in which we naturally overlap (the classic win wins).
We negotiate the areas in which our needs diverge or contradict one another, each party bending where they can until everyone feels comfortable.
We restate the terms we’ve negotiated (truly, best in writing in almost any circumstance….i’ll explain).
We seal the deal via handshake, signatures, offering consideration (another topic for another time), a wink and a smile, you get the idea.
We execute what we’ve agreed upon & Everything goes exactly to plan with zero misunderstandings, difficulties or backsliding and we all float on clouds to our perfect world of unicorns, equal rights for all and consistent sizing in jeans.
Eeeehhhhhhhhhhh (thats the annoying sound of a buzzer, shocking you back into reality).
No, sadly, step 6 is a misprint. Here’s the rub.
6. We begin to execute the plan and SOMETHING goes sideways. Were humans. And let’s face it, even AI gets it wrong. This could be where our plan falls apart; where relationships break down, where misunderstandings build into conspiracy theories and resentments and where nobody gets what they wanted and everybody gets punched in the face (metaphorically, OBVIOUSLY……what kind of animal do you think i am?).
Exceeeeeeept, there is no face punching becaaauuuuuse,
7. ta da, here we have our hero. Our written contract that we all created together, reviewed and signed. We don’t have to reinvent the wheel, call one another liars and theivs, dig up resentments or rely on our revisionist history to get back on track. All we have to do is refer to the contract and do what we said we’d do.
Ok, ok, i hear you. Sometimes it’s still complicated. We have an entire judicial system to echo that. But the truth is that most of the time, if we’ve mindfully drafted a clearly written contract with reasonable parties, referring back to that contract is a quick, non-confrontational way to move forward with ease.
Oftentimes, well meaning parties simply get lost in the process and wrapped up in their own needs. It’s only natural. Rather than assuming malicious intent, making accusations, becoming offended or defensive and shooting ourselves in the foot, we can first use the contract to remember that we did have a mutual agreement. We had every opportunity to express ourselves and so did they. And now, we have a neutral, unbiased document to refresh our memories.
In other words, getting it in writing could be the very thing that preserves your relationships and protects your bottom line. I, for one, have gotten very used to being PERCEIVED as a little extra up front in order to receive those rewards.
I consider it a huge part of my job to help my clients, fellow agents and their clients to reinterpret the intent behind a contract and the IMPORTANCE of taking them seriously.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what you thought they meant or what they thought you said. If we rely on that (i think they call it a “he said, she said” scenario) we’re toast.
Did you know that the human memory isn’t designed to relay the factual past? It’s designed to protect us and oftentimes that means distorting the facts in our minds to suit our own needs! Yes. True.
So when you were fighting with your partner last night about who left the tube of toothpaste an effing disaster, the reality is that you could both be telling the truth. Your truth.
So needing written evidence of our agreements doesn’t mean we think the other party is conniving or stupid. It means we’re all adult enough to understand our inherent INFALLIBILITY.
Yours and mine. Collectively.
I have respect for you, your needs and my own needs. So, let’s get this is writing.